So there’s this guy and he organises a local choir to serenade his girlfriend on the train into work. It’s a big job to get everyone required onto the train at the right time. She almost derailed the scheme by deciding to take the car to work that day – forcing the boyfriend to sabotage her car to make sure she got the train after all. So far so good. Romantic, if a bit embarrassing. But then he ruins it all by proposing to her in the train carriage. At that point I turn away in disgust.
I hate public proposals. They are not romantic.
What? I hear you cry. How can that not be romantic? Declaring his love and his desire to marry her in front of the whole world?
But it’s not. It’s manipulation disguised as romance. It doesn’t matter if it’s in front of thousands at a sports stadium, or a couple of dozen friends and family at a party, the public proposal is an attempt to put the woman (and it’s nearly always a woman) into a position where she can’t say no. Whether that’s done from insecurity about her answer, or a misguided sense of what’s romantic no doubt varies. I’m sure most of these men don’t consider themselves to be hatching an evil scheme to trap their girlfriend into marriage.
I’m also sure many of the women do find it romantic and their Yes answer is sincere. But what about the ones who don’t? What about the ones who feel manoeuvred into saying yes? Think of the position of the woman in this scenario. This man she’s presumably very fond of, even in love with, bares his soul in front of others. He risks a humiliating public rejection. How can she hurt him that way? She’ll have to say yes to spare him the humiliation, even if she’d have said no in private. And for her own sake – if she turns him down in public, crushing him in front of dozens or even thousands of people, she becomes the villain. The bitch who metaphorically kicked her boyfriend in the nuts in front of the whole world. Naturally, she doesn’t want to be in that position. This woman and some others you can find on You Tube at least had the guts to refuse to be manipulated and to be the villain in that scenario. And listen to the boos as she hurries away off that basketball court. Like she did something wrong there.
Don’t even get me started on this Russian jackass.
Man fakes death to show girlfriend how meaningless life would be without him, then proposes.
Men, respect the women you love and let them give a free and honest answer to that question. Be a man and don’t take along “backup” to a marriage proposal. Trying to manipulate the answer you want from her makes you a passive aggressive asshole and not the romantic guy you claim to be.