We all know there are major menaces on there, trolls and bullies and stalkers. But there are also plenty of things that make you roll your eyes even if they don’t make you reach for the Block button. Here are my current top five. Current because people are always thinking of new ways to annoy me.
Guilt trip statuses. Like and share this if you love your mum/hate cruelty to kittens/oppose terrorism. Clearly if you just scroll past you are a kitten torturing, mother-hating, terrorist sympathiser.
People you know in real life finding you anywhere except Facebook. “OMG, my boss followed my Hot Naked Dudz Making Out” board on Pinterest.” Boundaries, people, boundaries! This doesn’t apply to people you now know in real life because you met them on social media. Those are the cool people.
Experiments in how far a picture can travel on social media. “Hey, prove to my class/granny/boss how far a picture can travel by sharing this selfie.” No, sod off. Those are artificial conditions. Post your selfie without this lame request for shares and see how far it goes. Widely shared tweets and statuses are usually widely shared because they are interesting, or from someone famous. (Where they might be interesting, or they might just be “Toast and jam for breakfast”, but have 154678 shares inside five minutes.
“Big Company X will give a dollar to this charity for every share/retweet”. No, they won’t. That’s not how big companies give to charity. Don’t be silly. If you want some money to go to a charity you have to give some money to that charity. That’s how it works. Closely related to this, statuses about some obviously made up nonsense, with no source cited. “This six year old girl survived the Sandy Hook massacre and was killed running in the Boston Marathon bombing to raise money for other survivors. PLEASE SHARE!” O RLY? Yes, I actually saw that one. With a picture of some kid who of course had nothing to do with either event.
People using ICYMI on tweets – usually promo. This seems to have just become a thing and it’s bugging me. ICYMI = “In case you missed it.” It’s saying “Oh, I do so hate to post this promo tweet, but there may be some poor souls out there who didn’t see the previous one.” It’s a waste of precious characters in a tweet. If I missed it before then I’m seeing it now. I don’t need to know it was posted before. If I did see if before then putting “ICYMI” on there is not going to stop it boring and annoying me. Just knock it off.
That’s my share of whining done for now. Well it is close to the end of January, not the jolliest time. I hope to be chirpier by next week.